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12th Pregnancy

Yes! 12! Can you believe it?? We weren’t planning on anymore, it just kinda happened – yes I know HOW 🙂 After trying for over a year for our 5th child, still breastfeeding, not even having regular periods, I just didn’t think pregnancy would happen so “easily”.

I’m now at 21 weeks. I have had 6 miscarriages and given birth 5 times to healthy girls.

I take Folic Acid and Baby Aspirin every day, but no Lovenox or other shots. I often thought that maybe MTHFR wasn’t the problem, that maybe I miscarry the boys, because we have 5 girls. Nothing else seemed to make sense. I miscarry when I take Folic Acid and Baby Aspirin and I carry to term when I don’t. It doesn’t make sense!

Imagine my surprise when we found out last week that this baby was a BOY! I really thought I couldn’t carry a boy and I was okay with that. A whole new world just opened up!!!

Anyway, I know I haven’t been blogging here or my other blog. I’ve been writing fiction books and taking care of my family. I do apologize for not being a better blogger. I still hope that between the blogs and information, I can help someone out there.

Have faith!!!!


Miss Me?

I enjoy posting over at Blogger. It’s a little more fun. But, I miss my dashboard here. I miss finding out how many people visited and why. Please come visit my other blog and follow me there!!!!

July 11th

July 11th was my due date for the baby I lost back in November. I know the baby wouldn’t have come on that particular day, but it’s still hard. I know I will see my baby someday. I know s/he’s in Heaven and there is no better place than that.

I am so thankful for this pregnancy, just knowing this little snowflake is growing inside of me helped me get through the day.

10 Weeks

Two more weeks have passed. I have made it to 10 weeks. Only 3 weeks left until the end of the trimester. I sure hope that with it comes the end of morning sickness – er… all day sickness. It sucks not being able to enjoy the summer or do anything fun because I’m in the bathroom moaning and groaning. But, it’s  for a good reason. In between dry heaves, I say out loud “this is good”.

Just A Dream

You know the song – the one Carrie Underwood sings – Just A Dream.

I know what it’s supposed to be about. But, that song has another meaning to me – at least part of it does. I heard this song the day I miscarried in November. So, when I hear these words, I think about the baby I lost…

“Baby, why’d you leave me? Why’d you have to go? I was counting on forever, now I’ll never know. I can’t even breathe. It’s like I’m looking from a distance, standing in the background… This can’t be happening to me, this is just a dream…”

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Stupid AF

Aunt Flo showed the other day. It was depressing even though I knew it was coming. I don’t understand why my body is being so difficult. I’m now onto my 8th cycle. I have an appointment in 2 weeks to see what’s going on, maybe the doctor’s can figure something out. Maybe I’ll be put on some crazy fertility drug and end up with octuplets… all girls.


There’s a place I belong. A place that truly lets me fit in. I never thought I’d find such a place. Now that I have, I worry I’ll lose it, that some of them will drift away in time, some will forget, some will move on. I don’t want that to happen, because these people, they are my friends. They are more my friends then I have had in a long time. They like me for me or so they say J Last time I had that was high school. Every now and then I’d meet someone who understood. But, it wasn’t often. Mostly it was about me keeping up my appearance. Play nice with the neighbors, but don’t let them get close. But, these strangers, I’ve opened up to after 15 years of keeping things bottled up. I’ve opened up my heart and I’ve let them in. Maybe it’s because I know I’ll probably never meet them. Maybe because to some degree it’s anonymous. Maybe they only pretend to like me. I may never truly know. But, right now, today, I’m loved by just mommies.

Hello world!

Seems like an appropriate title. Hello world! What’s up? I’m going to try blogging again. The last time I tried, I got distracted. Life seems to get in the way sometimes and I don’t get a chance to write. But, then writing is one of the things I truly enjoy. As someone so nicely pointed out the last time I blogged, I don’t always use proper grammar or punctuation. This blog is not about using all the proper words. This blog is just about my life. So, if you don’t enjoy it, don’t read it.