I finally heard from the nurse at the doctor’s office Thursday afternoon. They wanted me to come in so they could tell me the results and talk to me about them. I couldn’t drop everything and go in, but I needed to confirm what I already knew. After convincing her, she told me my levels dropped to 3 (from 8) and I could stop the progesterone. This officially meant it was over.

Even though I knew this was coming… it’s SO hard to get that confirmation. I feel so many things… frustration, sadness, anxiousness, loneliness. And what I really need is a big hug!! A super big hug! Unfortunately, all of my friends live too far. As awesome as cyber hugs are, they’re just not the same as a real physical hug with a shoulder to just cry on. I feel as though I need to be strong around the kids and hubby. He’s already stressed out, having me breakdown crying wouldn’t be good. I need someone to show up with a bag of Hershey Kisses and a shoulder…

The nurse told me the doctor wants me to come back in for an exam before she gives me any more meds – which is fine, although sometimes I wonder if it’s just the money they want. I think we’re going to not try for a cycle or two. We won’t use protection, just no meds or charting. Each month that goes by makes me want to be pregnant again more and more. I guess I’m learning patience. I just hope that God’s plan includes us having another baby. I don’t know how to tell if it doesn’t.

Sorry I didn’t get this out earlier… our second daughter turned 8 over the weekend and being Easter – well, it was busy. Kept my mind occupied, but it started to hit harder today…


1 Comment »

  1. Katie Said:

    Talia, I am so sorry. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Just take one day at a time, I know that it is not easy for you and your family. I hope that your prayers will be answered soon.

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