Archive for April, 2009

Flooding

We had a LONG storm Monday night into Tuesday. There was a normal amount of thunder and lightning, but it wasn’t severe. The rain coming down was massive though. We watched as our street flooded for about 30 minutes and then go back down. We saw our backyard become a pool and the next day it was fine – although too wet to let the kids go back there and play.

The schools called at 5:55am. I jumped out of bed because a phone call at that hour isn’t usually good. But, when I realized what it was, I was impressed that they actually call you and tell you that school has been cancelled. They didn’t do that in the other states we have lived in.

The rain hit an area about 15-20 minutes away even harder. Flooded high and got in houses. We are very thankful that it wasn’t that bad in our neighborhood.

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My 5th Miscarriage Experience

If you’ve been following my blog, you know a while back I posted about all the different miscarriage experiences I’ve had. I wanted to add this one.

My LMP was 3/2/09. I ovulated around 3/19/09. At 11dpo, I took a pregnancy test. It was negative until 2 hours later. Then a faint line appeared. This kept happening, day after day. The line would come quicker, but still at or after the 5 minute mark and really really faint. It NEVER got darker!!! When I hit 18dpo (Monday), I had to see the doctor to get more progesterone. After her urine test was positive, they did blood work, but it only came back at an 8 and then two days later (Wednesday), a 3.

That same day (of the HCG count of 3), I started spotting brown stuff. It was mixed in with the progesterone, so it was weird looking. That continued through the day. The next day it was brown and a little pink. Then redder. It only got heavy for 12-18 hours. It was a dark red. On Saturday, I was bleeding, but not heavy, and I had this awful pressure on my cervix. I had to take a motrin, sit down and rest until it kicked in. That came and went until Monday. I never had any cramps or clots or a long period of heavy bleeding. In fact, this was lighter than a normal period, but with a HCG level of 3, I don’t think anything is “stuck” inside.

So, there was a total of 5 days of bleeding, but 4 of them were just spotting. No cramping, just cervix pressure. And – of course – a lot of emotions.

Confirmed

I finally heard from the nurse at the doctor’s office Thursday afternoon. They wanted me to come in so they could tell me the results and talk to me about them. I couldn’t drop everything and go in, but I needed to confirm what I already knew. After convincing her, she told me my levels dropped to 3 (from 8) and I could stop the progesterone. This officially meant it was over.

Even though I knew this was coming… it’s SO hard to get that confirmation. I feel so many things… frustration, sadness, anxiousness, loneliness. And what I really need is a big hug!! A super big hug! Unfortunately, all of my friends live too far. As awesome as cyber hugs are, they’re just not the same as a real physical hug with a shoulder to just cry on. I feel as though I need to be strong around the kids and hubby. He’s already stressed out, having me breakdown crying wouldn’t be good. I need someone to show up with a bag of Hershey Kisses and a shoulder…

The nurse told me the doctor wants me to come back in for an exam before she gives me any more meds – which is fine, although sometimes I wonder if it’s just the money they want. I think we’re going to not try for a cycle or two. We won’t use protection, just no meds or charting. Each month that goes by makes me want to be pregnant again more and more. I guess I’m learning patience. I just hope that God’s plan includes us having another baby. I don’t know how to tell if it doesn’t.

Sorry I didn’t get this out earlier… our second daughter turned 8 over the weekend and being Easter – well, it was busy. Kept my mind occupied, but it started to hit harder today…

Timing

Why does this keep happening near a holiday? My last miscarriage was days after my oldest’s birthday and days before Thanksgiving. Then I had to put on a happy face and cook a big dinner. This time, it’s a couple days before my 2nd child’s birthday and right before Easter. So, once again, I have to smile and cook a big dinner. All I want to do is go to bed for the weekend.

No more information from the doctor yet.

Empty Arms Once Again

Monday I went to the doctor. I had to give them a urine sample and then went into the exam room and waited 10-15 minutes. The doctor came in and said “Congratulations.”

Um… what???

She said “the test was positive.”

I said, “Really?”

She said, “Yeah.”

I said, “Are you sure?”

She laughed and said, “Yes, why don’t you believe it?”

So, I then explained that I had no symptoms and all the pregnancy tests I had taken were VERY faint and I mean VERY FAINT. The kind you really have to stare at for a long time and then a hint of a line shows up and you wonder if you just stared at it too long.

She did her exam and said that everything looked okay… ya know, inside. Then she said she would do blood work then and again on Wednesday. We’d go from there.

Later that night, I took another test. The same extremely faint line showed up, this time about 3 minutes after dipping it according to my husband. I refused to stand there and watch, but he really wanted me to test.

Later on that night, I checked my cervix (which still hurts) and found a pink streak through some of the CM. Is it due to the progesterone? the exam she gave me? or an impending miscarriage?

I got up this morning (Wednesday) and tested. I used 2 different tests. A FRER and a cheap internet one. The FRER was completely negative. The cheap internet one had the faintest of a “shadow  line”, even more faint than the ones I took last week. Of course, this made my hope die.

A few hours later, I noticed some brown “stuff”. I called the doctor’s office and spoke with the nurse. It’s funny how she went from sounding cranky to sounding sympathetic. She said brown blood is old blood and doesn’t mean anything, she asked if I had cramping (nope, just cervix pressure), she asked if I had intercourse recently (nope, not since ovulation). After putting me on hold for a couple minutes, she came back and said there was nothing they could do for a miscarriage – DUH! That I should just come in for my blood work and see if it goes up or down. I asked what my hcg level was on Monday. She told me… 8. Just 8. Not 108. Not 508. Not even 28. Just 8.  How does a pregnancy test pick up a level of 8????????

When I went in for my blood work, I asked to talk to a nurse to see if I should keep taking the progesterone and if I could just get a prescription for clomid now so I didn’t have to go back. The secretary called the nurse and when she got off the phone she tells me to go home, rest and wait for the results of today’s blood work. WTH? I asked my question and she stopped another nurse and asked her. The nurse says to take the progesterone until they tell me otherwise. She wasn’t very nice about it. Oh and no prescription for clomid until I get a negative test.

Tonight, the brown has some red mixed in. I know this is over and I hate waiting for it. Just hurry up and get on with it already!!!!!!!

I feel empty.

You’ve Got To Be Kidding Me!

Nope – not trying to conceive related!!!! Remember a few months ago, I blogged about a chemical called Melamine that was found to be in formula, well now they have found ROCKET FUEL in formula: http://health.yahoo.com/news/ap/baby_formula_perchlorate.html

Seriously? Melamine and rocket fuel… YUMMY! What are these people thinking??????? And I don’t like how they won’t release which formulas it was found in. And it can be in our drinking water… wonderful. Put the two together and it can exceed what’s considered a safe dose for an adult. I can’t believe that ANY amount would be considered safe. YUCK!

Our world is going downhill. Things aren’t safe anymore. And most of us don’t do anything about it. Sure, there are companies trying to be more green, but their products are usually much more expensive. It’s hard to buy them, especially in today’s economy.

Pregnant ladies, new moms: PLEASE breastfeed. It’s really the BEST thing for your baby. And don’t forget, it’s never too late to start breastfeeding. Check out my older posts and you will find one all about relactating.

Getting Irritated

I took another pregnancy test this morning. DH goes to work early, so he woke me up after his shower and I took the test. Immediately it was negative, but I only looked at it for the first 10 seconds. I then went back to bed. He kept watch over it for the next 15 minutes until he was done getting ready. He came out of the bathroom and told me it was negative. So, I tossed and turned for the next hour until it was time for me to get up. When I got up and looked at the test, there was definitely a very faint line. Now, this was an hour and 15 minutes after I dipped it. So, I know that I can’t count that.

I took my shower, looked at the test again. This time it was darker, but looked odd. Then after I was done getting ready, the test looked normal again – still with the very faint line. NOW, it’s been a full two hours and 10 minutes and it almost looks like the line is going away!! WTH????!!!!

The only thing I can think of is that I got a bad batch of these cheap internet tests. I’ve never had a pregnancy test turn up with a faint second line hours later until this cycle.

So, now what? I have to wait 2 more days and then test again – unless of course my period shows up. Then if it’s negative and Aunt Flo is still on vacation, I guess I call the doctor on Monday. I’m on the progesterone – Crinone. I think that has something to do with this. I’m so glad it extended my luteal phase. That’s important. But, I’m not sure my period will show up if I don’t stop taking it????

While I’m on the subject of progesterone… I noticed that when I check my cervix, the discharge (leftover medicine?) is cottage cheese looking. No foul odor though. And sometimes, it’s pinkish or salmon, maybe orange. Freaked me out a couple times, I thought I was getting my period. But, it never came. I did a search online and noticed a few other people had the same thing. So, I’m passing it on to my readers. Progesterone MAY cause your discharge to be pink colored.