My Miscarriage Experiences

A reader asked me about my miscarriage and I thought it was important enough to make another post about it. Miscarriage hurts emotionally and many people have a hard time talking about it. I still get teary eyed, but I know it has to be talked about. That’s how I heal, and that’s how other people learn. I don’t mind telling about my experiences. I only hope it helps somebody.

First, I have to say I’m not a doctor or a health care professional. I can only say what happened to me and what my doctors have told me.

I think the most important thing to know is that not all miscarriages are the same. The internet is contradicting, but sometimes it has to be. Even with my four miscarriages, none of them were exactly alike.

This last one in November is fresh in my mind, so I’ll start there. We tried to get pregnant for 9 cycles and with the help of Clomid – something I have never had to use before – we conceived. I tested positive around the time I expected my period. I was never one to get a positive test before 12 days past ovulation. 2 weeks later I saw just a tiny bit of pink when I wiped. It was so little, someone else may not have even noticed. I did, probably because I check the TP after I wipe. This is something the other miscarriages “taught” me.

I freaked, I prayed, I waited. No cramps came. No pain. Just more pink streaks on the TP. At this point, I noticed that my breasts didn’t hurt anymore. After 12 hours of waiting the pink started turning more of a red color. Not a constant flow, just spotting every time I wiped. I decided to take another pregnancy test and when it was faint, my heart dropped. No longer two dark lines… It was Sunday. I didn’t know if I should go to the ER, urgent care center, or just call someone. I called both my midwife and my OB. When the OB called back, she said there wasn’t any point in going to the hospital, they won’t be able to tell anything or do anything. This was just a wait and see. She also said there was a chance that because I was on the Clomid I conceived twins and was losing one of them. As horrible as that was, I clung to that “hope” for the day. I spent the day in bed, watching TV, praying, and cuddling my kids.

No cramps ever came. However, I felt pressure on my cervix. This was something I often feel when I get my period. I took Motrin because it was uncomfortable. The bleeding picked up, I even started to pass clots, and as much as I tried to hang on to that hope, I knew it was over. I’m not an overly optimistic person. I try. But, I find myself thinking the worst and praying for the best.

I went to see the OB on Monday. I still had heavy bleeding. She said my cervix was closed, which almost made me hope again, until I found out that didn’t mean anything. They didn’t do an ultrasound. That kind of made me mad. They did draw blood. My HCG levels came back at 26. I had to go back Wed and Fri to have it done again. They turned out to be 18 and 15, respectively. I ended up having to go back a couple weeks later until my levels went down to under 2.

I continued to bleed and felt a lot of pressure, but no cramping. NONE. Remembering the pain from my 2nd miscarriage, I was grateful not to be experiencing that again. But, before we get to that one, there’s was #3. This was the “easiest”. I had known I was pregnant… I could feel it. My temps were still high and I was about to test when the temp dropped suddenly and I had cramps and bleeding. I went in to see my midwife who took blood. My levels weren’t high enough. She called it a chemical pregnancy. I didn’t experience a lot of pain – it was like a normal period with normal cramps. There weren’t any clots. It was a little easier to deal with because I hadn’t been pregnant very long.

My 2nd miscarriage was by far the worst. I was 6 weeks along and started cramping first. A LOT of cramping! It was 100 times worse than my period. I stayed in bed begging God to stop the pain. Finally, I started bleeding. And on Sunday, I passed a big clot. Again it was the weekend AND the holidays, the doctor said if it was a miscarriage, there was nothing we could do. So, I stayed home and went to see her Monday when she confirmed that it was a miscarriage. They did the blood work to make sure the levels dropped enough. I think they did, because I don’t remember having to go in more than twice. The pain of this one was very hard to deal with. It is what I picture to be a “classic complete miscarriage”. When someone says miscarriage, this is the one I think of.

My 1st miscarriage was my 1st pregnancy, so I had NO idea what to expect. I actually didn’t realize I was pregnant until I was miscarrying and that was at 8 weeks. I was young. I didn’t understand. The cramps were regular period type cramps, the bleeding heavier than usual, and I remember some clots. Other than that, thankfully, I don’t remember much.

I have been very blessed that I have never needed a D&C.

So, as you can see, each one was a little different. I’m not sure there is a NORMAL way to miscarry. I have been told if I have any cramping or spotting, I should call the doctor right away. So, that is my recommendation to any of you reading this. Don’t worry about what time it is or what they’ll think of you – CALL your midwife or OB or even your family doctor.

With that being said, I know of many ladies who bled and/or cramped in early pregnancy who went on to carry their baby to full term. So, there is hope even if you are bleeding or cramping. Don’t give up that hope!

Back to my most recent miscarriage, because it was my fourth, the doctor agreed to do some testing. They usually don’t until you have had 3 miscarriages in a row. I never had that. But, I’m thankful the doctor wanted to do the testing. I never thought I’d know WHY I lost any of these precious babies. But, the test results came back and there are possible reasons. No one can say for sure that this MTHFR mutation is why I keep miscarrying. And no one can say for sure that the positive ANAs were the cause. It seems that my body is somewhat responsible for these miscarriages. I really wish doctors would test women who have a miscarriage for some things. At least the folic acid. That’s an easy test with an easy fix. I always knew folic acid was important to take, but I thought what I took in the vitamins was enough. I knew if I didn’t have enough it could cause my baby to be born with spinal defects, but I didn’t know that not having enough could cause a miscarriage. Why not test every pregnant woman for the MTHFR mutation? Or at least test for it when someone miscarries the first time. To think that I may have been able to save my babies… if only I had known.

I hope sharing my experiences can help. Just remember every person, every miscarriage is different. Please go see your midwife or doctor if you have any concerns.

To the reader who asked, I hope this helps. I pray that you are not having a miscarriage and everything is fine with your precious angel. Can you get in to see your doctor any sooner than Friday?
God bless.

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18 Comments »

  1. livelaughlove4ever Said:

    Thank you SO much for your blog. Unfortunately I can’t get in sooner then Friday. I do beleive all things happen for a reason…and I have 5 healthy children. So if this baby isn’t well enough to be carried then what can I do? It’s just the not knowing that’s killing me. I’d feel better knowing one way or the other. All I can think of is if it’s somehting I did. Did I carry my 5 y/o and 3 y/o too much, too much coffee, too much exercise, not enough exercise, not eating well, the fact that I was BF up until conception (my 16 month old self weaned before I got a (+) test) and so on and so forth….I know too much information can be a bad thing which is why I’m trying not to read too much. I keep a blog as well and I will be posting the results after my appointment this Friday. Thanks again for your post. I really enjoy reading your blog. You seem like just the kind of person I’d be friends w/ IRL 😉

  2. wishingstar97 Said:

    Aw… you are sweet. Do you mind if I put your blog on my blogroll?

    I did the same thing… was it carrying around my toddler, was it the time she jumped and landed on my tummy, was it too much chocolate, was it the one bath I had… And I do know that it most likely wasn’t any of that or any of the things you listed. But, it’s VERY hard not to think it could be.

    Good luck, God bless and I’ll be waiting to hear.

  3. livelaughlove4ever Said:

    Yes of course add me to your blogroll! I know it’s probably nothing I fear that I’ve done. Heck it could be my age who knows! (I’m 34 going on 35 in a few months) Like I said it’s the not knowing….I’m a planner and I like to know ASAP what is going on lol!

    BTW…it’s nice meeting you 🙂

  4. Katie Said:

    T, thank you so much for sharing. I had tears. I can not imagine going through a miscarriage. But everything happens for a reason and God only gives us what we can handle. My heart breaks for everyone who has had a miscarriage. You have certainly given me a better understanding to it. Thanks T!

  5. livelaughlove4ever Said:

    I had my sonogram and all is well! We saw (her) heartbeating. (until I know otherwise we are saying her lol) I’m measuring about 5 days earlier which is why I’m not feeling as pregnant as I think I should. I feel like I just got a (+) test for the first time.

  6. wishingstar97 Said:

    That’s wonderful! I’m SO happy for you!!

  7. Jade Said:

    Reading your story bough tears to my eyes! In December just gone, I found out i was pregnant (first pregnancy) and all was going well. I had a dating scan at 6 wks, then at 7 1/2 wks I exactly as you described, had a small amount of pink bleeding which everyone assured me could be normal, then it continued for 3 days, so I went to my doctor who sent me straigh for an unltrasound.
    Everyting seemed to be fine, a strong heartbeat etc etc, the another 2 days passed with slight bleeding, when it gradually got heavier and heavier and I started cramping quite badly. I sat on the toilet and passed quite a lot of blood with some small clots, so I went to the hospital as it was a sunday. They didnt have staff on to do an unltrasound, so i was sent home and told to come back tomorrow to confirm the misscariage.
    So i went in First thing monday morning, sure enough i had had a misscarriage. My heart sank when the doctor confirmed it, even though I knew i had in my heart!
    Thanks for sharing!

  8. wishingstar97 Said:

    I am so sorry for your loss!!!!

  9. Freedom Said:

    What type of MTHFR may I ask, I have had two successful pregnancies and two known miscarriages, with another suspected one that happened first. Anyway, after the second one this Janurary I insisted on testing, even though no insurance will pay for it and we found out I have the MTHFR mutation, but only one variant gene. I have been researching online and it seems very controversial as to how this factors in. IT has been very upsetting because it was “comforting” to know why this was happening and after the resarch, it is making me thing, well maybe it was something else too, etc. My doc just told us Friday and never mentioned it could be anything but this, but she was surprised by it, because she said that most women that have this would have had multiple miscarriages before they found it and she did not think we had this problem, because our 1st and 3rd pregnancy went by fine. Any help or knowledge in this area would be welcomed. Just feeling a bit frustrated with the research and the more unkown of it all. I was just so comforted by knowing what it was and that I could take folic acid, b6, b12 and asprin and have a much much better chance a successful pregnancy, now this all scares me…my first misscarriage was at 6 1/2 weeks and not a ton of bleeding, but heavy cramping, with 2 hours of contractions, my last one did not pass till i was 9 weeks, but we knew at 8 weeks and I had 26 hours of contractions with super heavy bleading, major clotting and bleeding for days. Lots of pain, almost as bad a real labor and I go naturally and it was not that much different….

  10. wishingstar97 Said:

    I tested positive for one copy of the C677T mutation and one copy of the A1298C mutation. I guess this makes me compound heterozygous.

    I did ask the OB and the Hematologist about the Vitamin B supplements and was told I don’t need them. They did a lot of blood work on me.

    I agree that it’s “comforting” to have a reason, especially a fixable one. I got the same response from my doctors, they weren’t real sure the MTHFR was the reason because I’ve had 4 full term babies and because my miscarriages weren’t all together. But, it is A reason. And something I can take the Folic Acid for and hope that if I get pregnant again, it will help.

    Do you know if they tested your ANAs? You might consider going to a Hematologist next (if you haven’t already). My OB didn’t seem real worried about this mutation. But, my regular doctor knew more and insisted I see the Hematologist and she was very helpful.

    Good luck and God bless.

  11. Shelley E Said:

    What a blessing to stumble across your site and read these heartening words… I have recently just had my third miscarriage in a row (4 x pregnancies, first one perfect resulting in my totally excellent 3 and a half year old girl).

    I am currently undergoing the recurrent testing, (blood tests done this week) so have no idea what could be causing this, but like several of you are 34 years old. Your stories resonate as currently I have no idea what’s going on but am reassured to hear the words of others on this site.

    Even if they don’t find anything I am determined and a bit of a control freak and have resolved to keep trying as long as it takes – the difficulty is I am a rhesus negative blood type and have to keep going into the Hospital every time I miscarry due to the need to have the injection.

    Otherwise by this stage I have got very used to the various symptoms and dealing with them myself. All my miscarriages have been early ones (9 weeks, and 6 weeks for the last two) and like you my experiences were different every time, though I too never required a D&C, thank goodness.

    My husband and I hope to start trying again as soon as my next period is cleared and I intend to do this ‘as many times as neccessary’ (pending my tests don’t come back drastic, but as I’ve got one how bad can they be?). I at least feel privelleged not to have an issue with getting pregnant (just keeping them recently…)

    Anyway, any suggestions or advice appreciated.

  12. wishingstar97 Said:

    I’m so sorry to hear of your losses. I know it is difficult. Sounds even harder having to go to the hospital each time.

    Did your midwife or OB suggest taking a baby aspirin or extra folic acid? My OB told me to take them both the day they took my blood to do the tests. She said there was always a possibilty I could get pregnant again before the results were back. I guess this is a common thing. That’s really my only suggestion. Whether it’s up the food you eat that has folic acid/folate in it or taking the extra folic acid (I have to take 3mgs a day). The baby aspirin is supposed to help with blood flow from you to the baby.

    Progesterone cream is the other thing I use. I have a short luteal phase (the time between ovulation and getting my period). The doctor won’t give me supplements, so I went to GNC and bought the cream. A few days after I ovulate, I start using the cream (finger full, twice a day).

    Other than that, I have no idea how to STAY pregnant. I have tried other things/herbs/vitamins to GET pregnant (since this time seems to be difficult).

    I won’t even bother to tell you to not stress over the results, don’t worry about them… because that’s ALL I did, no matter what anyone said. Just know whatever it is, you can get through it. You can deal with it. Never give up HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Good luck and God bless!! Please keep me updated 🙂

  13. Shelley E Said:

    Finally – a result! Rang the clinic today to get the results of the tests – good news is nothing is too out of the ordinary – slightly elevated clotting levels, which means they’d recommend aspirin from initial notice of pregnancy but nothing else – -!! The relief that there’s nothing ‘wrong’ per se is immense and gives me hope to carry on.

    They want to see me as soon as I get pregnant again (still waiting my familiar friend to arrive back) so soon as it does we’ll be back on the trying wagon again – I’ll be sure to put any news in on how we go.

    Thanks for your blessings – I am starting to hope again which is lovely.

  14. wishingstar97 Said:

    I’m so happy that there is nothing majorly wrong. Taking an aspirin is an easy thing to do and well worth it. I pray that it helps you keep your next little one.

    Good luck, God bless and please do keep me updated 😀

  15. Shelley E Said:

    Hi again –

    Just leaving you an update – I am off to the hospital today to start a new round of tests, as I am pregnant again! With all my test results having come back clear (they recently did all the hormone tests too) I am hopeful but incredibly nervous what this will bring. At this stage I am just over 5 weeks.

    They have had me on extra strength folic acid and baby aspirin for a few months so I am hoping that it is enough to make a difference. This time is just sooooo nerve wracking though.

    Just wanted to share as once again reading through this has given me hope – I will be sure to update you whatever comes next.

    Even writing this makes me nervous!

    • wishingstar97 Said:

      I’m so happy for you. Congrats. I hope this little one sticks for you!!! Please do keep me updated!! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers!

      • Shelley E Said:

        Okay – another update – just been to have a scan and it’s 9 weeks 2 days now. There’s a baby in there!

        It has an excellent hearbeat and is showing at the perfect size etc for the dates (2.5cm).

        Oh, I am so happy that this time things are going well. I know I still have a long road to travel, but just the relief to know there is a little life in there is fab.

        You are in my thoughts and prayers a lot and I am delighted to read your wee one is doing so well.

      • wishingstar97 Said:

        Yay!! I’m so excited for you!! It’s a long road… but hopefully one that will end in holding our little ones in our arms.


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